Residency BLOG
in this residency
Like any post modern asshat academic student
We wank about being self centred twats agoniseing on our childish obsessions.
Property
Girlfriends
Profit
Our egoic statis in th hive
Georgus blogposts in disposable hybrid de evolutionry gymnastic decaying social moral relavancy
Ignoreing
feats of countercult surveilance state irony liguistic terrorisms by consent
Its fantastic...
Beutifull massive harbour tidal swells..
More water flowing in to bay of fundy than all rivers in werld combined..while its happening ...they say.
Nonesuch kickshaws main and station
Parrsborro nova scotia.
Lotsa huge ol buildings
Rambling beat bookshop
Strewn with art sculture painting print
Big gallery upstairs
Foodie host
Cabins on cliffs
Friendly (older demographic)
Locals.
I thrown up a wee studio installation of drawing minitures i done on way.
Had a open studio (nonone visited)
This place reminds me of
Invercargill ..whanganui...port chalmers
All in one.
Ive a church bell tower studio too
And a actural church inside to show in
(Who ever will see it god knows)
Im processing such alot of feelings thinking
Awarenesses ignorances
Styles
Possabilitys
Known
Unknowable
Despair futility
Hope
Am i for example light in being ..transindental visiter in flesh suit
or dark?..frustrayed nihilism critic judgement n assumption
Who are we
Trapped.
Or bravely self aware co creaying with life
My pre occupations return most often to feeling inculcated in a chemicle prison of psychic conformity
State
Economy
School....orwellian ...
But even this is a kinda privledged luxury
Wonder abounds in th non assumptive
Th infinite unknowable th subtle n eternal
Th logos is present in every turn of th spiral of time
Even distopian controll empires!
But in this
Its only ever about me
Th risk of free thought experiential elf identification
Or indeed...trying to shed that..mask of false self
Is
Like the earnest monk
So contrived in being a monk...spiritual pride..of th ancient drop out caste of seekers after truth
Renounces n becomes one again with 5h human drama
Fucks fights screws gets drunk
Maybe with twinkle in eye.
No ones saying im there..
I wanna be good!
Get possessed by "bad"
The arts a shadow may of th divine drama
Of some relic of art self awareness
Before..google n yer psych meds did it fer you.!
Yep...de huminify th human n what you got?
A chip ready bio chemicle ai accessory.
Borg!
Still..here i am.
Palm council wanking on th interface all about it!
Reading some books on past intellectals in recrnt history th dim times before innernet you understsnd.
They discussed things..interms of other masters
Francis of assisi..
Neitzure
Etc
The dark light wobble of what to make
How to make
The past technique retinue of assumed possables.
Th need of a cohearant psychic body being manifest
And if i do..will it only condemn me like they tend too
When shared as work in th gallerys.
I still think a earnest effort like lived philosophy..and weather
And the way we experience our "self" is nessesary
Its holy ground
Not socialised conformist subroutines of controll n being controlled..
But
Ineffiable attempts of freedom
Re search
Re creation
Th loons are th ligitimate froth of automated social body..we were spozed to be liberated !
Not castrated in debt pyrimid scheme!
To know soul
Even to keep that...layerd transpersonal concept of self alive
Th map....
Th econo sci religeon of faciest mind correct...
Dont want ya to have beating heart..do that in ya own time
As homeless
As addict
As medicated housewife.
Na..arts political
Spiritual
Emotional
Mental
Historic
Pre cognitive
Reality creation on micro n macro level
What artists do reachs inta th soft dream of collectivity dormant slumber n ...summons spirit to manifest
Re member
Alter past future memory to activate potentials in th chaos field
All potentials
Work...then
Valuable beyond measure.
As is
A child born
A death earnd.
As is breath
Its all total illusion...and dust t dust.
Language time and integrity.
Just werkin out what t make n how.
I believe in it
Th reality is also as futile n destructive
Dangerous n empty..
Th rageing beast of unconscious cognitive dissonance is there
Th conflict in heacen
In ne
Th gene disorder of our species
Who ate me
Who made me
What am i
Can we realy make ourselfs or but re act.
"You think too much" is leveld at me
But i probly dont think enough
Or sharp enough.
But..think feel
Need a sphere of expanding contracting reference
On a most unlevel playing field.
Begin again daddy
I made that.
Does Satan wear jandals I wonder?
. Show quoted text
Absatotally.! He invented em Discarded copious amounts like confetti in india recent decades gone And has set up considderable strongholds of jandal production in china As well as The material mamalian mytho spheric dna fuse weld chromosome Jupiter moon. Yep Make no mistake Satan is Jandle wearing Himalayan mountain pass Sperm warrior Pyrimid scheeme trash cyclone Tourism preditor Extreemophile! Gape cam Armiment adaptive Neurological optic transferrance Peptide ass cream. Cann i get a good
God damn!
Mediochre product producer Or and Public skitzaphrenic Fool heyoka Hmmmm Stop MAKEING SENCE Nothins as it should be Or as it seems Accept it as it was Controll the potential non duel narritive assumption delusion Hypothetical desire cloud Biochemicle meat puppet Conscious radio antenna Codmic god mind Abortion clinic Part time lapdancer. Woof
Hey! Hi!
(A chum dispences artistic block -sage advice i asked her for..said advice as follows. However..it will only werk for me
No one else) Welcome to the world of Le Cafe Art Bottom where many a creative sifts about scratching chin....it’s a crowded scene amongst the procrastinatory! ....and a place you never earned your stripes......what with being a complete workaholic and go getter from the outset, a rare breed to be sure…… Sage advice follows: Sneak out of an evening trimming horse tails...... Fashion self an eeeeeeeeenormous horse paintbrush...... Leave said brush in mysterious locales round town over subsequent six weeks..... On forth to last day wander through town in a teal satin ball dress paying willing passers by $5 each to wander behind you pied piper styles for eight hours..... Mind control yer minions to stretch the canvas between two trees in the town square..... Be seen in town napping on couches in furniture stores.....lobbies etc..... Wander into supermarket with bowl and spoon eat muesli n yoghurt n browse the aisles...... Last day, pack everything, make sure hair is MASSIVE.....wander naked into paint shop, buy large tin of paint in exact shade as ballgown.... Run charging past previously stretched canvas screaming RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH like a Berserker entering battle, swing horsehair brush above head like a whip and at speed..... Leave one M.Gimblet styles mark.... Without pause grab pack a run to edge of town.... Hitch hike into the distance leaving naught but a handscrawled note saying.....’I Was ‘Ere $13,750’ Fly to New York. It’s the only sensible path.
Bing..
--------------$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$--------------------
ill keep
"Yer a real go getter " as a keeper comment. Sigh.... That crouded cafe.. Of lonly echos Of needy attention ..n shatterd dreams n Looming shadows Th cafe of bitter remorse coffee n fettid cake of disapointment Bagal of self recrimination Arrrr were thy cafe a nat geo wall collage strewn psychedelic wholefood stoner gathering with teepee N Lefty intellectuals Feverishly lecturing on moral undertones of strip malls n school system curriculum
N ardent evangalical spiritualists .. Prosthletiseing a retro wholism.around arc angel micheals glittering ministry on th astral plane I lie naked in th mud Swim against th tide! My undies ashore Sea mist.. And thunder in distance .. True story!!! Yep Swum in tide cummin in..nekid away from folks Was strong!! Be carefull.
Then some peanut butter mudslide icecream in a cone
I call this work.
This is a rather hideous rendering of a local indiginous pples (the micmak)
Creater giant divine guy hero (like maui)
From 1972! In fiberglass
And very suspect cobbler fashion.
Unsure if he is a insult or honour to the old people.
None th less 18 feet high
Red as a raped ass
And bit like freddy cooger.
He might be doing qi gong!
I should do mine.
Its funny how the things that mean the most..
Are lost in th telling..when we focus on something seriously it kinda gets killed.
How many shows or pieces ive made end up looking like outsider trash?
When my intent was high
Process long n genuine arduous n revelatory..
And its this hokey kitch remnant of bygone human art nostalga surperfluous to any currant contemporary inmate of culture.
Oh cheer up man
Yer not digging potstoes fer your lord and master in th bogs now are ya..
Are ya?
Cant sleep again . Realy bad here. In this house. I mean ...its all peachy just.. Cant make anything either. Probably cos its not my place. Logistics nightmare. And just such a rabbit hole of neurosis makeing work at all! I just dont have th energy. Its so much work for nothing Far away. I want t give up. I know theres work in me.. I see it. Just sick t fuk of th screwy art werld Myself Over compensating Under performing missing th mark Not knowing what im.doing Mature objective target abstract metaphysical scapes Being this fuking fringe outsider guy when thats not who i am. Oh then being arrogant or self centred cos ive ambition.or a sence of me own Potential. I miss home. I just cant be fukd investing myself into another disaster And paying for it . Just being rational. Dont know if i got it.. Cant sleep
-------------------------
Dino saur rock atlantic
Cant sleep
Friendship
Thinking talking too much
Feeling th past
Scanning th ego project
In
Blessed receivers
Rat burrow
Humid
Thinking too much
Garlic
Sore throat
Not used to so many social stuff n personalitys
Friction
The pacific university
Flying
Everywhen
Potentials
Hello sir. (So sorry i forgot your name!) Ive been meaning to write. I met you briefly th day before th show in te manawa gallery palmerston north new zealand december 2017. Th big climate change / abstract expressionist..exhibition. (For short walk thru video have a look at the link on my website homepage Www.jamesrobinson.nz. HOW IS YOUR WRITEING? AND BOOK TOUR. So ive been travelling THE WORLD. India ..6 months. On royal enfield bike. Himalayers. Egypt. Iceland Now in a rural beatnick private art residency in nova scotia. Am sleeping in and studioing in A old church. Huge Organ ..stain glass..th works. Ive a bell tower room. Also the bay of fundy canada Has the largest tides in the world. So If i can get my shit together to make Mythicly..intuitivly Poeticly Im thinking of a show. Around themes of ocean Capitalism extinction displacement migration Faith Environment Identity Fragmentation Heroism Failure defeat Sickness Spirit Healing Grief Loss And gain God GODD..! SELF ROBOTIC FACIEST WAR iN TH DEVIL Flesh Being Time Gravity Light Water Watwr Water Light Idea Play!!!!!!!!! Graphix in dada mind map surrealism and organic stain fabric banners loose flowing. The hosts run a paper buisness. Fine art paper. Look..i am not sure why im writeing I think its a portent To have met you at th outset of this Fools carbon rich white man walk about. God bless you sir! Mr james francis robinson. (Ahem..james was given from my mum digging this beatnic prophet international counter culture poet in nz JAMES K BAXTER Francis..from assisi And robinson A dutch label..but ive acturally researched what Robin son means. I was ancestrily a product of a orgiastic singles fuck fest in th woods between villages. Ritually. As in a robin Was a mix up meeting..moon..breeding plan..gene pool selection Europe. A son was a child from that intercourse communial process. FACINATING!!!
-so so so so so
Wrong
Not this guy in particuler
But is granpa a jewdeo bearded skitxoid war god incesting n slavin with impunity thru th known universe?
Mmm
What if ya a native kid on drugs
With alcholic extended family n bad obese diet?
Grandpa..
Family structure
Cultural sentence structure syntax
And
Haha
Cognition of shapes dimentions meaning
But
Th thin thread
Kindness
Love
That jesus meem of transindental human
Wisdom
Wisdom
Sophia
A goddess.
Eh
Who made granpa?
And who made sophia?
And CAN SOMEONE TELL ME ALLREADY
WHAT THE UNIVERSE SITS IN!!!
arrrrr
Ripe fruit energy fall
Species wide
Rot
Mytho centric narcistic
Pan dimentional uplink
Shhhh go clean ya room boy
See
Way of the infinit explorer
From his
Audio cleaver
By
Neil kramer.com
Inviteing the PRIME xmas card of all times in a actural intimate gesture of what can only be fairly termed intentional Feline ejaculate!
After your aged burmeese cat pisses on your face ...again! You ol pussy man you. Yes emminent usa prof types interest me You Failed FAILED to include a credible link fer my paroosal. I have very limited connection..so not realy able to media indulge...my apols. I did colkect string rope from a remote beach today with chinese american art acadrmic today had a booshy lunch which was excelkent. Im watching obese people selling cake to obese people at a chain coffee shop being awfully chatty n so nice. Mmmm im sickagain. With a flu Stress Lack of sleep very low energy Head spin tryi g to sort out what to make how.. Underlieing it..is Its not acturally ok to make here in a serious way. Its a bohemian fantasy about being part of th the brick a brac fantasy art dumpster collection. Residrncy woman yelled at me portentiously as i was about to start..after a long qi session. My minds been scrabbling at expectations..techniques time frame. Great buildings. Full of crap. And there tendrals everywhere. Which resilt in me moveing a pile of crap..to acturally eat at th kitchen propper. ..th crap was important aparently...in th middle of th kitchen eh. Sigh. I keep moveing allover to multipke beds..its hot its cold This matress sucks this is lumpy. The intent to start..to invest...was there. I was just gunna start. And she yells..screems. Shes a stress case..multitasker..who has a ability to freekme out and although theres friendlyness too. Its ambiguous boundrys.. money space Duration of residrncy. I mean its great fer a visit. But too much like a private dopefreeks sprawling kingdom in th wops. With the lack of boundrys. Psychicly. I oppologised profusely..and argued that there stuff was e erywhere..if i was to ask to move anything then..i would be asking about e ery fuking step! So its not a professional residency. Its a clusterfukd cafe. A beatnick gallery. Alot of shitty leaking buildings they got for nothing. A church. A cluster of artists comeing n going to have dinners. A girls conflab. Shit. I over invested in a headcase fantasy. Mine..aswell as theres. Still...th area is nice. Th tides are real. Least i had god tell me before i started..its not ok. I been worryd obsessivly fer a week about it. Maybe something else comes up. Im fukd not sleeping Sick again. ..eating good. Lots garlic. Still infected tho. Fuk n fuk n fuk. More 1000s lost. Whaf ever. Keep th faith. FUCKING ASS CUNT ART WORLD EH
------------------
Coffee shop psychic wifi on!
A writer woman waiting fer a massage sits down purple t shirt.
Turns out shes adopted a bhutineese bhuddist kid.
We talk around metaphysics environment art writeing researchers ect
Then i go next door and equally engage with th cathlock opshop church woman in theological rambles..which there quite fluent in!
Never in nz would this happen.
I heard about satan even! Excellent stuff.
Hes especially active in summer im told from th wize old duck.
Ahhhh antiginaosh...weird lil place.
Bigot pop (literally yall)
Just balld my eyes out with my ride Talkin about my mother. Conflict with hosts Triggers. I got this amethist hematite combo crystal from local woo shop as momento. Proported healing grounding propertys. Art prof erin en route to sculpture prof bf then toronto ..talkin bout her mum..her kids... Im talkin bout my mum..you.. Me as a kid.. I totally connected with the love i had fer my mum as a boy.
The total awsomeness of woman as protector provider in there prime with family
Glue of the universe
Th strength n nobility of my mum..my utter belief in her awsomeness
Protection
Ect
And of course all th wounds in there that wernt addressed...and how rough it was being a kid semi abandond
With skitz dad violence in me..mums promiscous sex ..my sexial abuse
Out financial stress
I wasnt protected
But i adored my mother.
I totally sobbed in this car...big theropy wracking snot blubs.
Cos i missed my mum
And love.
Famly...all th stuff i dont get with being angry n hurt.
So th crystal ..
Th sleep deprivation th huge tides of th area
Th disfunctional art hosts..
My
Bizzare psychic topography..
And good kind mature company..
Totally amazeing woman.
Detatched but present.
Ran a being present drawong workshop .
Yeah.
I feel ok.
Im good.
Im a good good good man person.
And that kid who acts out..
At unfair flakey boundrys...
See..
He is safe with me.
He realy is.
Ok
Psycho report
Done.
Campingvtonight.
Canadas endless highways of chain store replicant no choice consumer heaven.
Hmmm
Vast bigness comfortable the same the same same n same.
Hmmmm
Monolithic borg collectives...
Hmmm
Little bit scared..but ah...safe.
The homeless screems follow up to my 19th floor
Terrortorial yelps mostly from hominids
I understand..th rest of us just more nuanced n coded in our complicit cowardardice usually before reverting..
But whatta i know
I do believe in our extra angel capacity
Before satan lord dark pope lucifer put salt in th water n all.
Mumble knowledge snakes
Mumble
Speaking of snakes
Get hypnotised!
been heart tuggd by torontos homeless Got old dude a coffee n cookie A young pregnant girl some company n change.. Yeah..humbling. Heres me Jet setting Shopping at home trying t Buying vans
Showing art in parliment! Via mz speedy
Bless her.
Mental health youth suicide thing.
Mmmm
Theres a gathering storm..
"Tronna"
From student dorm robo hive
Where we dont look up from th phone!
Me wife be eater as doodle backdrop photo shoot.
Gulp
I’m sure you could human traffick the homeless person and the meth addict and have them taxidermied for The Turner Prize. Art NZild would have you casually leaning against a wall with an earthenware coffee mug on the summer edition cover 2019.... It’d be fabulous darling... The Prime Sinister could open the show, let wee Neve, daughter of THE NATION nibble on their toes like a non vegan husk.
Sacred and the profane.(from anals of the dead necrophilliac TWANKY the potentially best secretary a man never had) The carnival has become quite grotesque has it not? The compulsion to glance over a shoulder as one walks away from the universal debasement is nil. Somewhere between a bedazzled vagazzle and the bhurqa the pendulum rests with dignity. The guttural cultural slatternfest does many a dullard make. Or somesuch. Modesty is The! New! Shock’n’Awe! I think Rohan Weallans pushed me over the edge. *sigh* Slaughter the beast on a shrine at Ivan Anthony Gallery. Canapés will be served. How gross we have become....and I’ve had a go too. Ugh
Eagle carrys the one of the 7 grandfather teachings and the preyers of the people to the creator.
Never realy got citys.. Seem disposable n somehow vacant.
Fulla these stains ghosts residual tribul communial identitys of th humans Big rectangles push up in sky...a concrete hive drone.. Some code of anonimity in cool facades.. Glances scans..smiles knowings in a microsecond. Constructed virtual life...at a inhuman scale.. Makes me question this species viability.. Realy. How can thousands...of these citys...exist..without consequence? Non th less... Here we are..us humans. With our memorys n longings and addiction n wounds n our pride and beuaty Our stupidity n childishness. Here we are at all. Theres a oversoul.. A known n knower. Theres a different time and place... Intersecting Travelling to other peoples realitys doesnt seem real..somehow. Like its all a illusion they dont understand is just a facade... Is that my privledge..of channel changeing? Probably...we take it with us.. Th culture th story But grains of something inbetween get lodged innus..a common humanity A seriously stupid civilisation that only will give way to emergent higher propertys of our true selfs. Thats my hope... Im not bemoaning midernity so much as.. Well... I need to believe in something.. We dont seem to have a purpose.. Anymore. The air of limited expectation in th certain collapse.. I understamd the need n love of god.. I do. As blood pushs As breath is drawn in and out. As th galaxy turns And light baths us from distant stars Spins orbits and dark mysterys of the abyss and our own death.. The elemental majics of decay and nature .. Of spirit and travel. Reconcileing the ancient paleo hunter gather indiginous self..in famly tribe and unifyed self community n environment Non being anything other than the self aswell.. To this...agrocultural digital hybrid mechsnised economatrix sci factoid newtonian reductionistic mental logical Paradime...endless statis protocols and justifying ya self... Dunno Is there anywhere t get? Other than what we are? Alive Life Fractal symptom of universe Spore..seasonal bloom between crustal bi polor swings.. A viral bloom enginairs its own ascendancy ..can birth n traima ..multitudes perishing.. And floods fires disease n famine reset th ballance.. Why am i never realy at home in my time In my country In myself. In this world. Dont get me wrong...greatfull beyond measure when i stop Stop And know what this I AM is And then it all falls into a omnipident blink of fated curiosity..laughing bhuddha type mystic shit.. The cosmic giggle as terrance mckenna would say. But still..relentless..mechsnised chainstpre retail cult brand fetish identity smothering cloaking device of judgements burka Then need want n want n want. We forget who we are Where were from.. How to live How to live Be well Love n be loved. Just chatted with a very large kenyan man about international affairs n local african geo politics n china investments ect....for ages... 70 pc unemployment! Whoa■ He too felt strange travelling in north america...a land not his own. We...both laughd about being owned by th queen.
So ironic
And then ya anonimous un banker
Carbon me up ..if only
Im in james town Saint james church graveyard... Past james cooper mansion with th wolfs n inverted wolf sculpture.
Past the our lady..of primitive vaginal universal birth canal shrine.
Cicada..and small plane..and rustle of sacred oak Wind Wond Breeze of breath from creator Rustles the leafs One Falls On My Head While i do squats n Lift chi up pour chi down.. And lie flat.. On the grass after Big mother dino crystal.on me noggin whatsit Skull cave. Forehead. Im just being Being said as i We agreed...and felt naked raw presence in sensual ... Wasp like flys on bare feet In Trance noise ambient life sountrack Irreplicable by any drone monk Dudes saunter up.. Seem good dudes. Maybe a mildly retarded..just a guess. Wass up ..? Weather not so hot tday Yeah..not so hot..isay Oh just..doing me ..ahhh Preyer here in th park.. You visiting someobecthey ask.. Well yeah..haha. =godd i say (I like godd with double ds ya see) Boom! boom! Basil brush. Oh ..ok..yeah doin me chi gong. Wassat. Preyer i say..like taichi Oh ok they say. Catcha later bro..! Wee knuckle nudge thing. Nice chaps. Maybe meth smokers? Maybe alterboys Who can tell these days. Chris hedges The world as it is Dispatchs about the myrh of human progress And Richard dawkins A dim light? I think. Fell inta my packpack library today. No one reads books in wifi student dorm coffee opiem den innernet room. No one talks No one looks up. Silent...mental...projections... Whisps of wind in my grave yard Ciccadas humm a holographic trance wave broadcast at me... Id like research to be done please If there receiveing distant star photonic rays..and translating into arabic with there own vibratory function. As i said generously From the beating heart of christ in me To the new lie fe guy.. Anything is entirely possable sir. I respect your delusion Your right to it! And the chance of its interpretive fact in A rational narritive.. But includeing mythra Zoroastrianism And Pre christian animism n stoneage fertility worship Yes...christ as universal consciousness.. And entomological root werds to tougues we didnt know we had in meanings we forgot were possable Someone built the temples we didnt And Certainly divine will As in and from the god godds And Pan spermic spin n thrust cygnus star system mystery Pulsar life sperm spirit world Spirit world Heaven Stars And light Light n christ and son of man Sonn of woman n blood of life! Trifecta Apollo Dionysis Rambo Shiva The word n story The story n alphabet The book n libry The printing press and internet The codex The quantumn matter Dark vacuume Flows of Unknowable Plasma electro universe blood mind Energy Qi Of mind of Christ the eternal Onsciousness And Divine life of Any All And...not entirely ...stable James said (the 90s ballad pop band) God made love to me Soothed away my gravity Gave me a pair of angel wings Some vision Some majic things God is love to me Thank you for these things.. Understsnd the world your living in Love can mean anything. ....... I think what im.trying to get at here.. Is Transcendance And Being And the everyday Are under our noses. The breath The awareness of it. The blood The rustlr of leaves The horrable dramas The pleasure seeking aboidant gratification The self absorbed rambling monologs The desire! The thirst! The ligitimate anxt The Need Closeness intimacy Experiential boundy onnection The puncturing of alienation The absorbing into a whole Greater than th self Non greater than the self True self All self No self Non being. Out. End Dark Unknown Edges Frontiers Unknowables Death Nipples The light. Pulseing Throbbing grinding Screeming Cold Emergent... Frustration Pain Suffering Endless suffering in time trap Time Trap Conditioned by rhetoric convention a million dtate sponsored programs of submission mindcontroll obedience Economys fear..animal fear Dought..rage lust hot lust Grief Judgement Everything i am is wrong Its hell! This me This..family this...lacknof reality.. Concrete... And Play... Hand draws.. Worlds Notice Then Notice Pleasant redundancy. Lessons like confetti in Meaningfull arrays of hope constructs.. Choices.. Perspectives Crystaline awareness refracting Topological manifolds of other dimentions.. Sun beam Seagull spirit transporter. Therez christ again. All of it baby cakes On the head Of A Pin.
Met a few homeless dudes tday. One guy SELLING MAJIC AGATE RINGS Hullo. From brazil. Real down low...non pushy. Lovely lil sighn.. ..3$ Another guy...with dog. Young. From bc near alaska..half viking n native. Reservation kid. Straight ..clean sober.. But lookd weatherd. Been on rd since 12. Washing windshields. Yeah..they share real. I believe it. He was tellin me his famly drama. Dad killd pple. Mum a native ..turnd pro. Pple just high...fukd up on reservation. Sniffing petrol. Man..brutal. I wantd t give him my tent. He only wantd if light n small. Its perfect. ...tomorrow i give. I got two more at home. It wasin iceland in storms..hell aprietiate that. Im not tryin to be all lefty n identify ..just well I do identify. Coulda been me eh... Its same as all our dramas..cept we got cimfort n stress in different ways. He was 24. Kinda punky rustic woodsy dirty ..strong lookin guy. Fuk wish i was a farmer guy who could get him a hut fer gardening n stuff. So sad... Still...how can i not be my own victim based on learnt behaviours n reactions. Hmmm Still goes on..fer me. Humbling this LIFE!
Yeah..I think so. I identify...specially with th dudes. There good men..maybe
or there struggling with guilt
Denial
addiction for sure Its such a tradgedy our culture dont teach plle to value self. I spoze the abject right? Th broken The in process Th hurt Like erosion in a process Like fire flood Like something beyond us..we are in The loss Fragmentation Is beutifull too? Dispite the outward..appearance. I dunno... I dunno.. Its me own famly of course im vibeing on here..prob. I dont see myself seperatly.. But...im glad i get to go in many worlds Mentally Socially Economicly. But th point is.. We all...are in the same FIELD spiritually eh. And that is compassion And light n love. As life.. Truly...we are the same. Rich poor black white old young. Were all...part of this miricle We forhet th ess3nce of being we share. Im a romantic. I can tottally be a biggot too..im not all jesus crazy. But theres some weird shift goin on in me..i think. Dunno.. Toronto is very weird..is all.
+××××÷÷÷===÷×××××××××+++÷÷÷÷÷÷
The guy was museing on electro magnetic propertys of the quartz n copper in a alchemicle combo.i got him a apple juice n hung out fer a hour. I think by th end it was evident i was the more mad one.he was pakistani n something. Youd never know..we raved religeon.my india trip..the sex abuse goin on in his prostitute alley bedroom...which may have been memory and guilt i wonderd...people tell storys that illustrate them selfs..not always literal. But pple do tell the truth in there own way.
Brief statement to parlimentYouth suicide awareness show
Sept 4 2018 In 1998 my younger brother martin Hung himself. He was a heavily sedated "mentell health consumer" of the state.
Many people feel like dieing Especually when on institutional medication. I believe martin was influenced by the chemicles he was forced to use. But also Unemployment..dislexia.. and A solo parent unstable upbringing. Me and my brother started drinking vodka in the park at age 14 (he was 12) He never stopped.. I got theropy in a now defunct rehab centre called queen mary.in hamner A whole person kind of theropy hospital for addiction. There was a maori program there too that i enjoyed as a white guy. Singing n all. Anyway..art was always with me. With it Self reflection Responsability.. Creation..and consciousness. A faith..or dream Of hope. My practice is born from our countrys marginal ..and our civilisational cracks in the deficit of all social And environmental capital. We are in a systemic addict..and are all in a suicide machine. Triumph over death.. And a return to connection meaning and purpose place and community for me (TURANGIWAIWAI) would include..a complete demolishing of the economic models the educational constructs and the globalist corperate system we are all subject too. Art is a paleo mythic dream time Cracks in the conrete of consentual hypnosis..and a yoga of re membering Toward Self realisation True self And universal wholeness. I am a fiercely committed surviver Who will leave echos in this land till i die Evennif its a bit silly And often over serious. Kiora James robinson (Toronto)